I had a meeting with my advisor yesterday afternoon, and I'm both slightly overwhelmed and feeling slightly better. My brain has been working against me lately (see previous post), and I've had a hard time concentrating on developing a project. I have some very loose ideas and have been trying to do a literature search to tighten up the threads, but my tiredness (both mentally and physically) have been making that a touch difficult. I've talked with Barney briefly about it, and he set me onto some older literature to try to help me focus. I'll be working my way through some of that this weekend.
On a slightly brighter note, we decided that I could probably do my qualifying exam pretty soon (by the end of the Summer, at the latest) -- a full year ahead of the deadline at which we are supposed to have it done. This consists of sitting down with three committee members (I definitely have one in Barney, a definite idea to ask for a second, and I'm waffling on the third) to go over my GRE subject scores and plan out my courses as well as deciding what to do about the foreign language and advanced statistics requirements. I also need to have an idea of what I want to study. The advantage to doing this now as opposed to a year from now (besides getting it out of the way) is that the expectations for the research component are lower. Right now, I'd only need a specific idea and broad questions, whereas a year from now I'd have to have all (or a majority) of the methods lined out. I think I'll go for now, thanks.
As far as my anxiety goes, the meeting with Barney has me feeling a little better. I'm still meeting with the Student Health doc on Monday (he wasn't in yesterday), and I have an appointment on Friday at the counseling center to try to work through all the stuff I've been letting build up over the last few YEARS and to learn some relaxation techniques.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I love how your subconscious can work against you
Not much going on right now except school and battling pain in the a--, er, buttocks, anxiety attacks. I've been to Student Health about them twice in as many weeks, and the last doc I talked to said that if they start dominating my life to come back in and we'll discuss meds.
I'm going back tomorrow.
It's bad enough right now, I had to drug myself two nights ago with Reba's Benadryl to get any sleep. I think I may know what's going on, at least partially, so I'll also be making an appointment (well, more than one) at the counseling center to work through that and to learn some relaxation techniques.
Let's jusy say I'm finally realizing that being an emotional rock has its pitfalls.
I'm going back tomorrow.
It's bad enough right now, I had to drug myself two nights ago with Reba's Benadryl to get any sleep. I think I may know what's going on, at least partially, so I'll also be making an appointment (well, more than one) at the counseling center to work through that and to learn some relaxation techniques.
Let's jusy say I'm finally realizing that being an emotional rock has its pitfalls.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Peace Inside by Ralph Marston
When troubles come toward you, let peace come from you. When the world is filled with anger, frustration and confusion, that is when a peaceful heart can be the most valuable.
The more peaceful you are, the more effective you become. When your heart is filled with peace, your energy is more positively and purposefully focused.
The longer you remain peaceful, the stronger you become. Peace on the inside thus leads to real, meaningful success on the outside.
You can choose to carry peace within you, no matter what may be happening around you. Let the calm, deep power of peace energize your spirit and it will surely make a difference.
With peace at your very core, your thoughts are clear and your actions filled with purpose.
Whatever the challenges of the moment may be, you have what it takes to move successfully through them. Peace is something you can always choose to carry confidently inside you. The more you do, the more moments you'll fill with purpose and meaning.
The more peaceful you are, the more effective you become. When your heart is filled with peace, your energy is more positively and purposefully focused.
The longer you remain peaceful, the stronger you become. Peace on the inside thus leads to real, meaningful success on the outside.
You can choose to carry peace within you, no matter what may be happening around you. Let the calm, deep power of peace energize your spirit and it will surely make a difference.
With peace at your very core, your thoughts are clear and your actions filled with purpose.
Whatever the challenges of the moment may be, you have what it takes to move successfully through them. Peace is something you can always choose to carry confidently inside you. The more you do, the more moments you'll fill with purpose and meaning.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Beads, bands, and buses -- the joy of Mardi Gras
Well, I hit the Mardi Gras scene on Saturday to see part of one of the biggest parades they have here in NO. I say “part” because the Endymion parade is reputed to be on the streets for seven hours because it has 32 floats, numerous marching bands, and one 200+ foot float. Didn’t see the latter because I just wasn’t hanging around until midnight. Probably would have had more trouble getting home than I did. More on that later.
Got to the parade grounds about a half an hour late because the buses were/are all screwed up because of Carnival/Mardi Gras. Still got to see the first float (from afar) because of NO time. I saw the float which boasted actress Marisa Tomei, but I didn’t see Marisa Tomei. No biggie. Who I DID see was Tom Felicia off “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” (and those Pier One commercials) on another float. He was having a blast flinging beads all over the place.
Speaking of beads, I made off with about five and a half pounds of the suckers despite the fact that the women who were “nice” enough to let me up in front so I could see always managed to snag the stuff that a float rider tried to throw directly at me. People are ruthless when it comes to those made-in-China things. Except they don’t like the “old school” ones. My gain, because I liked them and thus got A LOT of them. The typical metallic, jewel-toned ones are OK, but I liked the older, short-stringed, clear plastic ones from (I was told) about twenty years ago. Also coveted are large beads and differently shaped (not round) beads, and I managed a few strings of those as well – including a long string of half-inch diameter, disco-ball faceted gold beads. Hey folks, there’s a hierarchy to these things. I have plenty of typical beads I’m going to mail to my grandmother for the younger cousins. But I’m stingy and I’m keeping ALL the old ones, so there!
I actually have my friend/attendant Erika to thank for my treasure trove. She waved and pointed and yelled and leaped over me to get a lot of this stuff. And to prove I’m not completely stingy, you’ll be glad to know I actually shared my old beads with her because she and I apparently were the only ones in our section of street who appreciated their retro value.
The floats were incredible in their detail and imagination. Endymion’s theme this year was “Magical Menagerie,” and there were centaurs and satyrs and Sirens, oh my. And I forgot my freaking camera . . . . I did manage (again, thanks to Erika) a dubloon and a cup with the krewe logo, theme, and date on them. Great keepsakes.
Oh yeah, and a plastic crawfish key chain. Priceless.
Yeah, I'm pretty much Mardi Gras-ed out. It literally took me three hours to get home Saturday night on the bus because of all the freakin' vacationers taking the buses. On the first leg, two buses passed Erika and me because they were "full" and didn't want to pick up the bulky wheelchair. When the third bus came, Erika said, "Look lady. My friend is freezing, she's gonna get sick if she stays out here any longer, and this is the ONLY way she has to get home since there are no wheelchair-accessible cabs in this city. PLEASE let her on." All the passengers started making room while the bus driver was saying no. Made her look like a total butt-munch, so she let me on. I was chilled to the bone by the time I finally got home -- cranked my thermostat to 80 for half an hour. Crazy thing is that the air temp really wasn't that cold (in the 50s), but with all the surrounding water and the breeze, it was chilly, especially on my old, arthritic knee.
And no, I didn’t see any flashers. We stayed away from Canal and St. Charles Streets where all the vacationers hang. We were where all the families were, waiting to see their babies in the marching bands. Speaking of that, one of my favorite bands got really involved with the crowd. They did a bit of song while standing in their nice, not-quite-straight lines, then they started moving around in random dancing. After a bit of that, they played instruments with one hand and grabbed onlookers with the other, pulling them into the street to dance with them. No wonder they had so many beads!
As a by-product of trying to find a route for an earlier parade which I didn’t make it to, I discovered a bunch of eating establishments I want to try within walking distance of the Elysian Fields bus into the Quarter as well as some shops I want to check out. However, I’m not going anywhere near the Quarter while those crazy tourists are here.
Got to the parade grounds about a half an hour late because the buses were/are all screwed up because of Carnival/Mardi Gras. Still got to see the first float (from afar) because of NO time. I saw the float which boasted actress Marisa Tomei, but I didn’t see Marisa Tomei. No biggie. Who I DID see was Tom Felicia off “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” (and those Pier One commercials) on another float. He was having a blast flinging beads all over the place.
Speaking of beads, I made off with about five and a half pounds of the suckers despite the fact that the women who were “nice” enough to let me up in front so I could see always managed to snag the stuff that a float rider tried to throw directly at me. People are ruthless when it comes to those made-in-China things. Except they don’t like the “old school” ones. My gain, because I liked them and thus got A LOT of them. The typical metallic, jewel-toned ones are OK, but I liked the older, short-stringed, clear plastic ones from (I was told) about twenty years ago. Also coveted are large beads and differently shaped (not round) beads, and I managed a few strings of those as well – including a long string of half-inch diameter, disco-ball faceted gold beads. Hey folks, there’s a hierarchy to these things. I have plenty of typical beads I’m going to mail to my grandmother for the younger cousins. But I’m stingy and I’m keeping ALL the old ones, so there!
I actually have my friend/attendant Erika to thank for my treasure trove. She waved and pointed and yelled and leaped over me to get a lot of this stuff. And to prove I’m not completely stingy, you’ll be glad to know I actually shared my old beads with her because she and I apparently were the only ones in our section of street who appreciated their retro value.
The floats were incredible in their detail and imagination. Endymion’s theme this year was “Magical Menagerie,” and there were centaurs and satyrs and Sirens, oh my. And I forgot my freaking camera . . . . I did manage (again, thanks to Erika) a dubloon and a cup with the krewe logo, theme, and date on them. Great keepsakes.
Oh yeah, and a plastic crawfish key chain. Priceless.
Yeah, I'm pretty much Mardi Gras-ed out. It literally took me three hours to get home Saturday night on the bus because of all the freakin' vacationers taking the buses. On the first leg, two buses passed Erika and me because they were "full" and didn't want to pick up the bulky wheelchair. When the third bus came, Erika said, "Look lady. My friend is freezing, she's gonna get sick if she stays out here any longer, and this is the ONLY way she has to get home since there are no wheelchair-accessible cabs in this city. PLEASE let her on." All the passengers started making room while the bus driver was saying no. Made her look like a total butt-munch, so she let me on. I was chilled to the bone by the time I finally got home -- cranked my thermostat to 80 for half an hour. Crazy thing is that the air temp really wasn't that cold (in the 50s), but with all the surrounding water and the breeze, it was chilly, especially on my old, arthritic knee.
And no, I didn’t see any flashers. We stayed away from Canal and St. Charles Streets where all the vacationers hang. We were where all the families were, waiting to see their babies in the marching bands. Speaking of that, one of my favorite bands got really involved with the crowd. They did a bit of song while standing in their nice, not-quite-straight lines, then they started moving around in random dancing. After a bit of that, they played instruments with one hand and grabbed onlookers with the other, pulling them into the street to dance with them. No wonder they had so many beads!
As a by-product of trying to find a route for an earlier parade which I didn’t make it to, I discovered a bunch of eating establishments I want to try within walking distance of the Elysian Fields bus into the Quarter as well as some shops I want to check out. However, I’m not going anywhere near the Quarter while those crazy tourists are here.